Tag Archive: Anysia

A Bump and a Tree… and a Video. A Girl.

/ / It was September 19th, three years ago today, that a beautiful friend wrote out her words to tell my story on her blog… a story I could not yet bring myself… Continue reading

Looking Out for a Friend

/ / I love these photos from last Friday when Izzy and I drove to the city to do another fashion shoot for my fashion-blogger friend. I actually use that term only for lack… Continue reading

A Different Letter, One Year Earlier

/ / A couple of days ago, I wrote a letter to Anysia on her first birthday. It is the first I’ve ever written, but hopefully not the last. Today, I wanted to… Continue reading

Happy First Birthday

/ / Dear Anysia, I wonder if you know all this already. Perhaps… but I’ll tell you in a letter, anyway. Actually, I think this might be the first letter I will have written to… Continue reading

1732 and Sleepless Again

/ / I should be in bed right now. But just like one year ago, I am sleepless. Today was an awful day… and not even because my daughter’s would-be birthday is tomorrow.… Continue reading

One Year of Seeing Things

 / / As I wrapped up my freelance work tonight, I thought about the date {because I was trying to gauge how much time I have to finish what work I have left… Continue reading

So, We Did This Last Night…

/ / {This is the view from our window… with our indoor tree in the foreground and the reflection of both trees in the window, each mimicking each other.} .  {This is the… Continue reading

47/52

“A portrait {or two} of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.” / / Izzy—Posing patiently for a Christmas card photo and making snowballs in front of Anysia’s tree. . . .… Continue reading

There Was a Caesar Salad, But This Time, No Breakdown. And the Grief? I’ve Been Noticing How the Landscape Has Changed.

/ / So I went to Olive Garden with my husband and son tonight… to celebrate our fourteenth wedding anniversary. This might seem like a strange place for an anniversary dinner. But we… Continue reading

37/52 and a Tree for Anysia

“A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.” / / Izzy—Hugging the little wooden box we {bought last December for Anysia’s ashes} just before opening it to spread the ashes out under… Continue reading

Nine Months with Her, Nine Months Without

/ / A perfect storm arose today, and I buckled under it. Somewhere around 4:00 or 5:00, the most surprising and impactful unexpected wave of grief came up from behind and struck me down.… Continue reading

I Won’t Ever Understand

/ / This won’t be a well-written post. I’m tired. And all I have energy for is just whatever’s there as it comes out. Not even an attempt to say it eloquently. We lost… Continue reading

30/52

“A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.” / / Izzy—Hangin’ out with us in our room before bedtime… discovering the mirror that’s awaiting to be attached to his new… Continue reading

Gravity and The Worst Day of My Life – What I Remember Before I Forget

/ / grav•i•ty [grav-i-tee] 1. the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth. 2. heaviness or weight. 3. gravitation in general 4. acceleration of… Continue reading

24/52 and Six Months In

“A portrait {or four} of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.” / / Izzy—In the kitchen, enjoying some time in his favorite “spinny” chair, whilst reading his Thomas the Train… Continue reading

This Day, That Other Day and a Few Things More on Motherhood

/ / This day… picked up from what I wrote about my Mother’s Day on my facebook timeline tonight… . . I thought it would be really difficult. And at one point it was…… Continue reading

Tulips for Mother’s Day Weekend

/ / Because of a weekend filled with lots of outdoor work and preparing for new flooring inside… and Mother’s Day excursions tomorrow… I’m simply picking up and pasting two posts that I… Continue reading

On Trees and the Difference a Year Can Make / / What I Remember, Before I Forget

/ / I should be in bed right now, getting well-rested for the play date Izzy and I have in the morning with two of our favorite people. But I really wanted to… Continue reading

Bring Me Up Again

/ / I was reminded of these verses from the Psalms by a friend today. It was so good to read the words in them, as they spoke so much to the struggle that… Continue reading

Three on Monday That Were Intended for Sunday…

/ / So I’ve got three posts today. I’ll explain… Since yesterday morning, I’ve had quite a lot mulling around in my mind. I’ve been writing and rewriting posts in my mind and… Continue reading

Between the Tallest and the Next

/ / Here I am, in the in-between. Several waves down, who knows how many more to go. Wednesday was the tallest one yet. I had to reach out to my counselor and… Continue reading

Ninety-nine + What I Remember, Before I Forget

/ / Today was my grandmother’s 99th birthday. Ninety-nine! That’s amazing to me. I did not get to see her for this birthday like I was able to for some of her other… Continue reading

What I Remember, Before I Forget

/ / I’ve tried to sit down to write this post for several weeks, and never once did I even make it past the title. I knew, since the moment I thought of… Continue reading

Whoever You Are

/ / There may exist more people than we realize who don’t like this holiday we call Valentine’s Day. Some, because its existence seems too forced {the reason I never really cared for… Continue reading

Normal, Old and New{ish}

/ / Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer, but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you… Continue reading

Out of the Woods

/ / Nine days in, I think we’ve finally turned a corner {picture me knocking on the wood cabinet next to my desk}. Izzy has had a nasty virus {it’s going around} that… Continue reading

It Can only Happen Once

/ / If it didn’t threaten to make me cry, I would probably laugh at the irony in the title of my post. Below is what my post would have read before I realized… Continue reading

Gardens, Good Grief and Tattoos

/ / This single post should probably be three… Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. Instead, I’ll just sort of split it up into three sections in one, with groups of photos to… Continue reading

On Our Hearts

/ / I’ve debated whether or not to put this out there… these things we are learning about ourselves and others and grief, and how to navigate the delicate and intricate waters where… Continue reading

Taking Stock

/ / Making… get-organized lists . Cooking… Izzy’s chicken fingers and carrots {can I get away with calling that cooking?} . Drinking… a cup of earl grey with cream . Reading… through the… Continue reading

Just a Couple of Things

/ / Okay… since grieving does not necessarily always have to equal sadness and sorrow, I thought I could use a little whimsy around here today, so I figured maybe others could too.… Continue reading