About See Things
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{Written the day this blog began, December 17, 2013}
This is the evolved space borne out of a former place. I once blogged at It’s Just How I See Things. But a new blog name was important to me.
For so long, seeing, finding—even the smallest things in life—and giving them recognition for the beauty they hold has been a goal of mine. Before it was a goal, it was an instinct to appreciate these things {often, the smaller, the more significant}… an instinct I did not realize I had until my best friend pointed it out to me while on a walk many years back.
When I latched on to photography, it opened a whole new world of seeing things. My first photography blog became my place to share just how I saw things… both visually and in thought. But I felt the need to take “I” out of the equation… out of the name. Not because “I” was ever meant to be narcissistic, but because that is a perception I hope will never emerge for anyone looking on in this place. And See Things is an admonishment to all who visit, every bit as much as it is a desire I have for myself. So this new name was born.
A new name seemed deserving of a change of space, so I started anew in this one.
There is another reason to start somewhere new. Where my former blog only captured my days from late 2008 up through the cusp of 2013/2014 {with memories of prior days sprinkled in}, this one will hopefully hold each and every day since. With the fatal diagnosis we received for our little baby girl half-way through 2013, I now view my life in two chapters… Before Anysia and After Anysia. Before she entered our lives and after she entered, only to leave us in body but stay with us always. I stopped blogging shortly after she was conceived. Now, just days before she is to be born, I am planting myself in this new blog home to pick it up again. A past chapter is done and a new one has begun. {If you want a full picture of the journey from that new beginning until now, start here… at the beginning. To follow along from there post-by-post, click the post link with the right arrow at the bottom of that first post and then each subsequent post.}
First and foremost, I am hoping to find healing in this space as an outlet and through expression. Second, I hope to tell my story, however long it takes. And third, I once again want to create a window to all that is around me… all that I see. Mainly through my photos. But hopefully with words, too.
Trisomy 18 does not define me or my life. But my daughter who has it will shape the remainder of this earthly life for me. I hope, so much, for the better. And that is why her life is a turning point in mine.
But there is still so much else, and my hope is that it will all unfold in beautiful ways… even the pain… right here in this new place.
Thank you for coming to see it with me.
• • • • •
“…While with an eye made quiet by the power
Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,
We see into the life of things.”
~William Wordsworth
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{25 weeks gestation, pregnant with my baby girl | photo by Shalice Noel}
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I cried reading this and cried reading your other post last night. That was the reason for the misspellings. My heart is with you all. If ever you need anything please let me know if I can help. (Even if it is just a hug or a shoulder to cry on) They need you more now than before. Be strong sweet mama lady. Hugs to your little monkey and your sweet little angle. Love to you all!
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I wish I could just reach through this screen and hug you. Your words perfectly and eloquently capture the all of the emotions that few moms can truly understand. Thank you for sharing your heart for all to see- you will help and comfort moms at all stages of this journey. Please know that there are others, myself included, who can connect with you and listen to you, and understand you in ways that very few can relate to. Hugs and prayers to your beautiful family, and to both of your angels.
thank you so much, lisa. it is such an encouragement to know there are others out there that can relate and help. i was fortunate to meet two tri-18 moms while i was pregnant, and they were a great source of help and comfort… and encouragement. thank you for your kind thoughts.
Your page is beautiful! I nominated you for a Liebster Award 🙂 Click the link for more information. Congrats 😉 http://nickiebrook.com/2014/01/22/liebster-award/
thank you, nickie. i decided that, since this space is for right now a place where i am openly writing about grieving the loss of our daughter, i don’t really want my blog to be about awards or anything like that. but i appreciate your comment and for thinking of my blog for this.
Georgia, I don’t know if you remember me. I used to read your blog and comment from time to time. When your blog went private almost a year ago, I figured you wanted it to be accessible to only people you know personally. Last night, I was going through my links in my dashboard and clicked on yours and saw that it was no longer private. I, of course, caught up and read many of your posts on this new blog. I’m very sorry for all you have gone through in what seems like such a short time (to me). I cannot fathom what you have experienced and cannot find any “right” words to say to you. You have done it all with grace and with your faith guiding you. I just want you to know I am thinking of you and your family and praying for all of you. I don’t even feel right reading your blog as it is so personal and I feel like I’m intruding. I’m sure reading it will help many mothers in similar circumstances. Your writing is so beautiful; someday you should even consider publishing all your feelings so that others can find comfort through your words (and photos).
Candace in Phoenix
Thank you, Candace. Of course I remember you… fondly. You were always a consistent reader and commenter back on my old blog, and I always appreciated when you would visit. Your words today are so thoughtful and kind, and I appreciate them very much, because I have found it very difficult to be open here on this blog lately. I sometimes wonder if I’m too transparent and don’t want to turn people off by my grief. So I always appreciate when someone shares with me that they actually appreciate what I do share here… and take the time to tell me that. I can understand that feeling like you are intruding. But trust me, I write and am an open book because I very much welcome people into my story and very much want people to know… even the hardest parts, if they are comfortable with it, that is. I wouldn’t put any of this out there {the good or the difficult} if I minded people entering. So it never feels intrusive to know someone is reading, and I am always grateful for any comments. It’s all about connection. One of the hardest parts about losing a baby is the isolation it creates in your life. So I absolutely welcome connection… in any form. I’m so glad you stopped by today. It was nice to see your name pop up in my comments. Thank you for taking time to read.
You’re more than welcome. I’ll continue to read. Isaac is so cute and so much bigger.
=)
I have nominated you for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award. Please check my recent post to receive this award. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you, sweet Jasmine.
I humbly accept your award, but have decided to keep this new blog {I used to blog elsewhere, prior to losing a baby} award-free. I don’t mind awards, and I like that they highlight the blogs of other people. I wish to be able to share the love. But I don’t want to take away from the feel of what I want my blog to be. I’ve hoped that it could just be a place of grief and honest reflection. I don’t want to bring attention to my blogging, so I felt it would not be good for me to accept and give away awards. I would rather there is attention to the reality of what grief looks like when someone loses a baby. I hope that my blog will somehow “fall into the right hands”, or rather, that the right person at the right time would happen upon it and find comfort here. It could be that this happens via your link to my blog on your blog today. Or it could be some other way. I don’t think blog awards are wrong or trivial. I think they are really thoughtful. But I do remember {with my old blog} that I had been given some awards that seemed very genuine {like this one} and then others where it seemed like the blogger was just handing it out without really even knowing what my blog was about. So I began to not accept them anymore. When I started this one, I just decided not to do any awards posts or award acceptance right off the bat… to avoid anything like that from happening. And to not do the posts would mean to not accept the awards. Though it is an honor to have someone award my blog, I just don’t feel like it’s right for what I want to do here. I think at the heart, I just don’t want to call any attention to my blog. It’s a very private space, but that said, I love for absolutely anyone to see it {and hopefully be helped by it}.
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Just beautiful, Georgia:
“…See Things is an admonishment to all who visit, every bit as much as it is a desire I have for myself.”
I often write about seeing and Seeing: the latter goes past where our human eyes stop to where our heart’s eyes are just beginning.
Blessings to this space,
Dani
ahhh… i love that, dani. thanks for reading and for your insight.