“A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.”

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Izzy—Climbing {or trying to} up dada’s back at our annual beach outing for my birthday.
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I have no Izzyisms today. Life has been so strange lately. It’s as if everything I observe is screaming at me… so little that you pour your time, effort and energy into will pour back into you… so choose wisely where you pour.

I’m grasping for the closeness I felt to God during the time I had with Anysia and in those months after we lost her… a closeness that existed because I was empty and He was my all. There are days when I can’t take one more bit of loss, disappointment or rejection, and I want to seclude myself away with these two loves. But even the truest of people or things will disappoint. As I have. How comforting to know God won’t. I know there are those who think He does and has. To those claims, I don’t have a very good response… no words of my own. But I will say this. The last four or five sentences {especially the last sentence} said by the man who this video is about {starting at about 8:40} say it far better than I ever could… from a man who lost even more than I did who said the words I would not be able to so eloquently find to describe why I clung to God in my loss and still cling to Him now… or why I hope that He is holding on to me. Words that are on my heart.