Drifting

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Taking stock of all that I have this Christmas. So much. Izzy is at the top of the list… and his love for what he sees and treasures. Snow is at the top of that list.

Loss looms. But all I have won’t be veiled or shadowed by what I stand to lose. I can’t let it. I won’t. So he sleeps with me each night. And I let him be close to her while he can. Snow is wonder-ful to him right now. It’s easy to grasp, unlike this concept of having a baby sister. {I suppose it’s difficult at the young age of two to translate a mama’s large belly into being a big brother.} I fear she will melt away as quickly as the flakes that fall to his warm, sweet hand. And I fear he will never know how wonder-ful it will be to be a big brother. So I cling to what we have. Right now, at least for three more days, I have her. He has her. We all have her. And every Christmas. Every snow. We’ll still hold her… just in a different place perhaps. Hearts. Minds. Memories.

Two children. Two gifts. One to keep. One to give back.
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